


All I Wanted Was A Chance

by milesofworry



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, M/M, Unrequited Love, hey Nagi and Rei do the do, no spoilers here, so do Haru and someone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofworry/pseuds/milesofworry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto decides to distance himself from his unrequited love. He can't keep going on feeling this way as the one he does love, has already fallen in love with their close friend. He knows Haruka only has his eyes on Rin, not him. It won't ever be him. Meanwhile, Nagisa and Rei finally decide to begin dating, but one of them holds a secret from the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Though this isn't the first fic I have written, its the first one to be posted on this site for me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

The night sky was gorgeously lit up by the stars that made the light that existed in the darkness that is space. But he didn’t want to see these old stars, these things that would always be there for him to look at. No. He wanted to look into those deep ocean blue eyes that had him enraptured since the first time he met them with his own emerald ones.   
And he thought about how everyone thought of the owner of those eyes as being cold and emotionless. But he knew differently. He saw the way those eyes shone when someone mentioned swimming anywhere or when someone said something that amused him, how the laughter that wasn’t voice came out of his eyes. And now, how they held the one emotion that he had wanted to receive since he met the owner of those beautiful eyes, but it was for one of their most dear friends. How when their friend smiled at the one he had been chasing, those eyes would hold adoration, a longing, and a feeling that had never been cast at the one who had always been running after him. 

 

Makoto walks back to his house, his arms limp on either side of him, heavy footsteps heard by his friends who walk behind him, and his tall form seems tired to them and himself. Nagisa watches as the taller male’s back seemed to slump even more than it already was. 

“Mako-chan, you can’t be that tired. Practice wasn’t even that long and we barely did anything,” he says and speeds up to try and meet his pace. “Rei’s usually the one who’s tired since he can barely swim.” A gasp was heard behind them. 

“Nagisa my time was much better and I didn’t drown or mess up so be quiet. I barely did anything with you guys,” Rei states, scowling. Nagisa just chuckles at the other male, the way his eyebrows come to meet in a scowl amused him every time Rei tried to reprimand him. But soon enough the scowl left his face to be replaced with a much prouder one. A smile was plastered on his face and his purple eyes seemed to glow as he became excited. “It’s gotten me more excited than anything,” he says sheepishly, “it’s taken some time, yeah, but I’m finally getting better.”

“Almost as good as us, you mean Rei-chan,” Nagisa chuckled as he heard an indignant huff come from Rei. He slows down to walk beside Rei, linking his arm through the others and reassures him that he’s doing absolutely fine and that he was just joking. Rei already knows all of this, but wanted to hear Nagisa say it aloud. Not telling him that of course. 

“There’s still a lot that you need to improve though,” Makoto mumbles, just loud enough for the two walking behind him to hear. They both look at each other in shock, eyes wide and mouths agape. Nagisa nervously chuckles. 

“That was kind of discouraging Makoto,” Nagisa states, looking at the back of Makoto’s head. He sees his shoulders move in a shrug. Makoto turns towards them, his face holding none of his emotions that are usually on display for everyone, his emerald eyes void of the shine they would usually hold. Nagisa takes all of this in while Rei stares back, shocked that his captain is able to put this type of face on. 

“W-what happ-“ Nagisa begins to ask, his fuchsia eyes full of questions that are running through his mind, but he can’t get them out of his throat in time. Makoto realizes what he is going to ask and he can’t lie to his friends, or answer their questions. So, after Nagisa utters the first word, he is already in motion, his hand wrapping around Rei’s arm, and pushed him towards the short blonde, causing them to fall on each other. 

He didn’t mean for them to fall at all, honestly, but it didn’t stop him. He whispers a quick apology and turns and runs towards his house. And didn’t hear the whispers that came from the two who lay on the ground. 

“Please tell me the look on his face wasn’t there,” Nagisa pleads, his worry for the older swimmer shooting higher than it had. Rei shakes his head, his eyes closing. 

“Makoto-senpai has his own troubles, and no one said he had to tell us. But he can,” He says, his own concern growing. “I hope he knows that.” Nagisa nods, and pokes the boy he’s lying on. 

“We’re in the middle of the sidewalk,” Rei pushes him off, listening to him as he laughs at his reaction. They decide to not push Makoto into telling them anything, to wait for him to tell them in his own time. But they’ll worry about their friend because they know something is wrong. As they walk down the sidewalk towards Rei’s apartment, they discuss everything from school and the team to what they plan to do when Makoto tell them about his problems. Nagisa keeps a smile on his face as he talks to Rei, but it isn’t forced like it had been for a time. It’s real, and it’s because of Rei. 

But the real trouble has yet to even begin for the team.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a shocking announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy reading the second chapter. I'm sorry for not updating last week! I'm still adjusting to this place. Oh! Rating is going to change for this story because of future plans. Thanks. Enjoy!

Makoto tries to keep a straight face as his mom sends him over to Haruka’s house. The smile he wore felt like a mask, and it was, but his mom couldn’t tell the difference since his back was turned. She held a covered plate in her hands and stood behind him as he put on his shoes. Thoughts were swirling in his head as he tied them, thoughts about his friends and how he had actually displayed how broken he was. It had been a week since then, and he had distracted himself with either the swim team or his school work. It had not been all that hard.

He turns back to get the plate from his mom, the heat seeping through to his hands and causing them to sweat. “He’s probably just going to have mackerel anyways,” Makoto said, his tone sounding light,” I’ll be back soon.” And he walked out of his house. He took a second to gather his thoughts then began to walk.

Avoiding all of his problems and the one who was causing him to have this ache in his chest was not the right move, but it was the easiest. Knowing this, Makoto struggled with the daily meeting with everyone, the ways they were all close, and keeping him from showing any signs of depression. He struggles because it hurts to see that face he has fallen so in love with every day. As he walks up the steps to Haruka’s house, he goes over these things that he is doing. And he knows that there isn’t much else to do except distance himself from this still ever growing love.

“Because I already know you won’t love me the way I love you,” Makoto says aloud, not thinking anything of it as he finally sees the house he spent most of his days at. _Don’t be home, stay in the bathroom, don’t be home, stay in the bathroom, don’t answer the door,_ he begins to pray in his head as he knocks on the door. He lets out a breath after a few seconds. His prayers have been answered. So he turns to go home, thinking of what to tell his mother. Maybe something along the lines of, “Haru wasn’t home, probably out on the beach.” Yes, that one would work, because its believable.

What he doesn’t count on is Haruka suddenly opening the door just as the taller swimmer begins to turn to go home.

“Mako, where are you going?” this is the voice that makes him freeze where he stands. “Where have you been all week now that I think of it?” Makoto forces a fake laugh.

“Sorry, just I have a bunch of schoolwork to get done. I barely have time after swim practice,” he smiles as he forces this lie out of his throat. “Oh, mom asked me to bring this to you. She thought that the only thing you were going to eat was mackerel.” Haruka’s face does not change as he keeps his eyes on Makoto.

“Tell her I said thanks,” he says as he accepts the plate that Makoto hands out to him. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, a silence that has never passed between these two, Haruka finally asks, “Is that the truth?”

Makoto looks down at the ground before answering his best friend. He had always told Haruka the truth, he had no reason to lie, and there was nothing they ever held back from each other. Except for this feeling he had been hiding ever since he discovered it lying in his heart.

“It is,” he says, but it isn’t of course.

* * *

They were never meant to be together. It wasn’t ever supposed to happen. Nothing. Even after all the things that they had been through since they had become friends and since they had re-started the swim team, nothing was ever going to happen between the two. He wouldn’t be seen as anything else but a childhood friend, a best friend. He would never be loved in another way.

When would he stop loving his best friend?

What would he do if it was ever found out?

“You don’t have enough confidence to say anything so it doesn’t matter,” Makoto mutters, his words catching the attention of Nagisa. The blonde put on a smile, though he had heard his friend’s words.

“What’d you say, Mako-chan?”

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking aloud.” Haruka looks at the two, curiosity in his eyes. Rei stared into his locker, knowing what Nagisa knew.

“What were you thinking about?” Nagisa asks, his head tilted as he looks at the captain.

“T-the um,” his mind was scrambling to come up with an excuse when he thought of a new training regimen that Go-Kou had been talking to him about. They had yet to come up with a real plan, but they agreed that it was a good idea to get a new training schedule so as the team didn’t get too comfortable with the one they had been doing for a while. “The new training idea.” He looks at Haruka, who wasn’t hiding the curiosity that was in his eyes. “It isn’t much really, but it’s a good plan.”

Rei looks over at him and could see how nervous Makoto was. “Why would you mention it to us if there isn’t a solid plan yet?” He asks, beginning to get impatient with this whole ordeal. Makoto sighs.

“She told me that I should tell you guys so you wouldn’t have to be so shocked when you find out,” Makoto answers, his shoulders beginning to sag.

“When did she tell you?” Nagisa finally says. The taller male shoots a glance over to him.

“This morning.”

“Haru-“

“I wasn’t with Makoto this morning,” Haruka says bluntly. Purple and fuchsia eyes turn towards him, both wide with the shock that is also on their faces. “What?”

“That thats impossible!” Nagisa exclaims, “you two have always been together and-“

“This is just wasting practice time,” Makoto says coldly. Nagisa glares over at him.

“I don’t care if its wasting time. This is something that needs to be talked about,” Nagisa says, his breathing heavy, “This is important!” Rei moves to stand beside their friend, nodding.

“This is more than important, this could eventually harm the team,” Rei says, looking at Makoto. Everything is silent in the changing room. Haruka stands, watching this scene infront of him. And for the first time, he isn’t wishing to be in the pool that is outside. He wants to be standing right beside Rei and Nagisa, wants to know what is wrong with their captain, their friend. His best friend.

 _He wont love you, no matter how hard you try, he only has eyes for one person._ Makoto looks at them all, the swim team that he has helped begin. And he takes in a deep breath, terrified of the reactions he is going to receive.

“I’m quitting the swim team.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Makoto is allowed some time, but decides to have a sleepover.

He needed to get away, he just needed to get used to the way the ever present presence that had always been beside him would no longer be there. He needed these feeling to disappear deep within him, hopefully never to be looked upon until he had grown older. By then he should be over this unrequited love that was his. His loved ones thoughts were filled with someone else already and he knew that. It wasn’t ever going to change for him.

Makoto ran a hand through his still wet hair, thinking about how long it had been since he had left the swim team. Two weeks, two weeks he had avoided all questions about his sudden decision about resigning. He looks down at the playlist on his phone and picks a quiet song, one that sooths his thoughts and his aching heart. It wasn’t a usual sad song though. He never let sad songs be put on his phone, but lately he had been finding ones that were sad in their own way.

His thoughts drifted once more to the swim team. Gou (he could hear her reprimanding him, “its Kou”) had been keeping him up to date on their times and their advancement during practice. She never failed to ask him if he would “please come back. It’s not the same senpai” and he would always refuse. Gou never asked again after at least attempting once to convince him to go back. Makoto was not to be swayed in his decision. But it hurt not being able to witness how everyone was doing. Rei had apparently been pushing himself, but not drastically. Nagisa had been a bit off at first, but he eventually went back to advancing in his field. Haruka, Haruka hadn’t been affected as much as the other two. He had kept doing everything that he had been.

But that didn’t bother Makoto as much as he thought it would. It didn’t hurt knowing that his decision did not affect Haruka. Since he did have someone he already loved.

Makoto cursed at himself for letting his thoughts go back to that. He rolled his eyes and shifted on his bed.  He focuses on the music instead, letting it drown out the thoughts that had taken up permanent residence in his head.

**…**

He walks over to his bike, going through the things that the teachers had talked about during class. Mainly it had been reviews over the tests that were scheduled for next week, and things that would have to know for passing all of them. It wasn’t going to be that difficult, seeing as how Makoto spent most of his time now studying.

Haruka had passed him another note during class that day also. He hadn’t bothered looking at it, just like the rest of the ones his best friend handed him during class. They had passed notes like that once upon a time all the time. That was until Makoto started to worry about his growing feelings, and noticing Haruka’s own for someone else.

He was so into his thoughts, that he didn’t even notice the blonde who was already sitting on his bike, waiting for him to get there.

“Mako-chan~” Nagisa sang, waving his arms at his tall friend from the bike.

“Of course,” Makoto mutters to himself. “It’s been weeks, I’m surprised he held out for this long.” A chuckle escapes his lips. He no longer felt like avoiding any of his friends, Nagisa and Rei mainly. They had made spots for themselves in his heart, and beside him.

“Re-join the swim team,” the blonde wastes no time at all, though. Makoto shakes his head in amusement and a hint of sadness.  “Everyone misses you, and we can’t-“

“I cant. I mean, I don’t want to. I mean, I want to of course. But you guys don’t need me,” Nagisa starts to protest, but Makoto shakes his head again. “Gou has been keeping me updated on everything, from how much everyone has advanced, to how everyone was affected. I know how everyone’s still doing their best, so you will all be fine.” He smiles and reaches out to ruffle Nagisa’s hair. The blonde blushes as Makoto messes up his hair, it had been some time since he had seen the taller boy’s happy face. And seeing that happy, puppy look again made him feel elated. He hops off the bike, looks at the older teen and everything that had happened since he had left came crashing down and spilling from his mouth.

He dove in for a hug before he said anything though. He could feel the tears that were pricking at his eyes even before he started to talk.

“ Haru doesn’t talk about you anymore,” Nagisa whimpers as he feels the other tense in his arms, “and at the last joint practice with Samezuka, he only paid attention to Rin. It isn’t fair that he’s okay with whatever’s going on with you two. It isn’t.”

Makoto only smiles a bit, not exactly surprised to hear this from Nagisa, but it still hurts. He strokes the back of Nagisa’s head in a comforting way until the other stops crying.

“Let me spend the night, Mako, please,” the blonde begs, small sobs wracking his words. “just just me and Rei, that’s all.” Makoto looked down at the other, who looked like breaking into tears at any moment.

“But prac-“

“It was cancelled because the pool had to get cleaned or something.”

“Just you two then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that it took weeks for this to come out! I couldnt get this chapter typed up for some reason. Thanks for all the kudos! Chapter 4 will be up in no time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover

Makoto was already regretting his decision. As soon as he had approved the sleepover, Nagisa’s tears vanished and, laughing, he ran off to find Rei. The new swimmer looked happy and relieved that once Makoto had explained that the blonde was not lying to him. And then Rei had begun to worry about clothes, and how the plans were all last second, when Nagisa produced a bag which held a change of clothes for both boys.

“Why-“

“This is from the other night, Rei-chan,” Nagisa chirped, interrupting Rei’s question. From the way Rei’s face suddenly flushed, Makoto knew that more had happened than just a normal sleepover. And he was happy for the two. They were perfect for each other in every way that Makoto could think of. He was not surprised that there was no jealously hidden in his heart now directed towards the two, and there was none when he thought of Haruka and Rin.

“Lets go,” Nagisa exclaimed after Makoto patted Rei on the shoulder.

And so they went. His parents had decided that since those three would be in the house, they would take Ren and Ran out on some kind of short weekend adventure to let the boys have the house to themselves. It’s not that they didn’t want to see the two who hadn’t been around for some time, they just considered that they wanted to make up that lost time, so they decided that they would take a short leave.

The three decided that they would order their food instead of cooking it, though Makoto had offered to cook for them-“I just want some pizza, Mom,” Nagisa had chuckled when Makoto tried to stop him from ordering from their old swim coach- and sat around, playing games on the television just like old times.

Though, unlike old times, Haruka isn’t here. Makoto ignored his own thoughts, though the thought made his smile slip off his face, only to quickly be replaced by a strained one.

Rei was the one who noticed it.

“Makoto-senpai,” he hesitated, thinking through the things he wanted to say. “I’m sorry.” Nagisa looked down, wanting to ask their former captain questions also, but couldn’t. “Why can’t you come back to the swim club?” Rei looked at Makoto expectantly, hoping for answer.

Makoto took in a breath, holding it in, relaxing his heart, and also his thoughts, then he released it. His face held its usual emotions, but it was just like that day that he had pushed Nagisa and Rei. “You dont have to tell us, you don't have to because we’ll still be here for you,” Rei said in a rush.

Makoto took in a deep breath and released it. His face held its usual emotion, though his emerald eyes held pain in them.

“I love swimming with everyone. That was the reason I wanted to start the swim club again. Swimming with,” his voice almost cracked, “him was another. I had a connection to him when we were swimming, and even if we weren't swimming, i was the happiest.” He covered his face. “But of course, he never looked at me the way the way that I wanted him to, the way that I looked at him. I’m one of the only people who know what he’s thinking, and because of this, I know I'm not the one he wants/” Makoto felt a hand on his knee and another on his shoulder. “I can’t stay by him and keep keeping this way.” They listened to him as his voice became hoarse with grief. It was obvious that his words were getting more difficult to say as he spoke.

“Mako,” Nagisa whispered. Rei swallowed and grabbed his hand. They understood why now. They knew the reason and how much their captain was hurting.

Both boys wrapped their arms around the older boy as he finally let the tears flow from his eyes.

Nagisa stroked his head, his hands running through brown locks, and Rei stroked his back soothingly.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Makoto cried, his heart numb, “I love him, I love him.”

\---

Rei closed the door to Makoto’s room quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping male heding it and released a sigh in a rush. He leaned against the door, his head tilted back, and thought about everything that he had gathered from the night.

Makoto had cried for the longest time and had fallen asleep after letting go in his two friends’ arms.

Purple eyes looked up at the ceiling and thought about how Makoto had always been with Haruka or fussing over him. The second year was with him always, in the mornings, in class, after school, during and after practice. It was like they were a part of each other, and Makoto was trying to get away from that. From the pain.

Rei closed his eyes, thinking about how this would eventually affect the two.

“Rei-chan,” Nagisa’s soft voice called him from the beginning of the hallway. He smiled and walked to join him there. Warm arms wrapped around him, Nagisa’s head rested against his chest.

“He always looked so happy,” Nagisa whispered. Rei nodded, stroking his back.

“He didn't want us to worry about him, not when he was breaking on the inside,” Rei said. He felt Nagisa start to shake in his arms.

“I-I didn't even notice something was wrong, not until he started acting strange. I’ve been friends with him for so long, i should of noticed,” Nagisa whispered. Rei pulled him closer, tightening his arms around the smaller male.

“We both should of.” he said, kissing the top of Nagisa’s head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry I haven't updated in a year. I lost all interest in this story, and am still unsure on if I am going to continue it. As you can see, this whole chapter is a mess, and I am a mess. I'm really sorry, but I hope you enjoyed it as much as you possibly can. Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


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